New Year's Resolutions » The burden of the New Year’s resolution

Person holding a camera lens bringing a street view into focus. Image for blog post by carina Badger MBACP, counsellor and therapist in Manchester and online about new year's resolutions and tips if you are struggling — Image by Zachary Keimig via Unsplash

Maybe it’s not more willpower you need – it’s more insight

I got to 31st December and actually completed one of my New Year’s resolutions.

If I do anything at all (and complete respect to those who don’t or who follow a different calendar), I typically prefer to think of January intentions or re-connection with some aspect of myself that I have neglected.

But in January 2022, I wanted to work on something for the New Year that has been on my mind for some time, and that’s trees (and my carbon footprint). Through a combination of Ecologi, Treeapp, the garden and the allotment, I ended up planting 507 trees* in one year.

🌳 507 trees in one year

(Some nifty maths tells me that would offset about 50 flights from Manchester to New York).

I’m proud of myself.

The tree-planting new year resolution worked for me because it was an expression of one of my core values and was completely manageable over the year – I just had to bring mindful awareness to it on a regular basis.

But setting intentions or resolutions in January can also be an unhealthy burden. As Oliver Burkeman puts it:

“I’m fond of this part of January, a few days after the big calendar milestone, because it’s this point by which any unwisely perfectionistic resolutions have surely already failed”.

So if you have made a New Year’s resolution or set an intention and are now struggling, here are some tips:

📌 You don’t have to do it

📌 You can change your mind right now

📌 Your struggle is telling you something important about yourself. Maybe you set unrealistic expectations? Maybe there is some block you need to work through first? Maybe the hoped-for change doesn’t actually mesh with the authentic you?

📌 You are not something to be ‘fixed’. You’re great 🌟

So, what permission do you need to give yourself today?

This new year or later in the year – what would help you get to a place of really thriving in life?

I help people find clarity and calm, cope better with change and say no when they want to. Through therapy, I can help you get to know yourself better and support you in making meaningful changes in your life.